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| Terrier24 | You don't win anything with kids | | |
| Terrier24 | I Believe | | |
| Terrier24 | Huddersfield Town is an addiction | | |
| Terrier24 | "Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it." | | |
| Terrier24 | "Most football players are temperamental. That's 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental." | | |
| Terrier24 | "I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said "how do I look?" Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say "go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny"? No. You'd say "You look nice... John"" | | |
| Terrier24 | Can I just read you something from Top Gear magazine | | |
| Terrier24 | Can I just shock you? I like wine. Despite what I just said earlier. At any one time I have nine bottles of wine in my house." | | |
| Terrier24 | And, can I have the same, please? But with different shaped pasta. What do you call those pasta in bows? Like a bow-tie, but miniature? Like an action man bow-tie. | | |
| Terrier24 | When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. | | |
| Terrier24 | I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming | | |
| Terrier24 | I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.' | | |
| Terrier24 | Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before | | |
| Terrier24 | Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. | | |
| Terrier24 | Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad | | |
| Terrier24 | If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? | | |
| Terrier24 | Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'? | | |
| Terrier24 | Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? | | |
| Terrier24 | Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? | | |
| Terrier24 | If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? | | |
| Terrier24 | Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure. | | |
| Terrier24 | Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? | | |
| Terrier24 | Motto of the Day - If at first you do not succeed, perhaps skydiving is not your ideal choice of pastime. | | |
| Terrier24 | Which would you prefer to have - artifical intelligence or natural stupidity? | | |
| Terrier24 | I was wondering why the cricket ball was getting bigger. It was then that it hit me. | | |
| Terrier24 | A Hamburger goes into a bar and asks for a gin and tonic. "Sorry" said the barman "We don't serve food". | | |
| Terrier24 | A man walked into a bar and said 'Ouch!' | | |
| Terrier24 | There was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late. | | |
| Terrier24 | The trouble with political jokes is they usually get elected. | | |
| Terrier24 | 24 hours in a day. 24 cans in a box of beer. Coincidence? | | |
| Terrier24 | Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it | | |
Huddersfield Town News 24/7
